I've lost my will to write anymore stories. I'm trying to write an extended ShoutOut to short story writers like Chekov, or Ellison. I'm currently writing another TF2 story based off Ellison's "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream".

It's way harder than you might think. I'm not having the team trek for ages to get canned food. That's not fun enough. Still, it never was easy for me to write action sequences, especially when stories that require action sequences tend to have characters that are quite close to the Mary Sue/Marty Stu line.

Then I have to find a way to kill off everybody using the Engineer, and work out how to finish him off. I haven't decided whether to put this in the same timeline as the one where the Engineer's in the asylum. If I do that, I've gotta work out how to fit in all the deaths I mentioned, or think of new witty lines to describe their demise.

And lastly, I have to decide the Engineer's fate. I could end like the original story. That wouldn't be too original. Or I could get him out, and give him a complete breakdown, thus leading me nicely into his psychosis in the previous episode. Or, I could kill him off, though that's kinda tough.

The present tense style is so... different from my conventional style too. I prefer my stories to be a recount. Preferably with a narrating style straight out of A Series Of Unfortunate Events.

Then I have to decide how to bring in the female character. I can't choose Engineer or Scout because I'm making them important characters. Heavy and Medic have been shipped together in case I want to make this story canon. Sniper is too difficult to turn female. Demoman will be the guy that's most against the AM/whoever's my antagonist, and will play with less than a full deck of cards. Soldier's gonna be the crazy idiot.

So it's gonna be Spy or Pyro, and frankly speaking, it's gonna be the backstabbing sapper, or the pyromaniacal killer that reminds me of Kenny.

Tough choice.

I've only written to the point where RED has reached their food and ate it. That's about it anyway. I've fell behind on my animes. I STILL haven't finished Lucky Star, nor have I downloaded Haruhi season 1.

Anyway, I've been thinking about whether I should cut my hair to something more like Yuki's hairstyle, whatever it's called. It's easier to style in the morning, compared to... Tsuruya's ankle-length hair.

Besides, it makes more sense. Easier to wash, easier to comb, easier to dry, etc.

I think I know where I got my temper from. My mom. I also think where I gained such a stoic face. Partially from my mom. I also know where I get that fascination with weapons and death. My mom, and a lot of Discovery Channel shows. And tuition classes. Did you know in USA, Marines are trained in MCMAC. One of their moves are designed to choke off blood flow to the brain. Unconsciousness in 10 seconds, permanent brain damage/death follows soon after.

I'm gonna teach my Engineer these moves if I have him actually kill off everybody else. I'm also gonna make the Sniper snark about the irony of the situation.

Screw it.

Mabel, Muse-less.