Friends

Oh my god oh my god. I feel so terrible about not going on Boxing Day. What is it, you ask? The class gathering, that's what. Today, during CL, did a compo on a happy gathering. Believe me, it sounds less retarded in chinese. Anyway, what HAPPY GATHERING have I experienced? It's either happy, or a gathering, never both. And anything that sounds like both, are from my friends who ACTUALLY went. Okay, the gathering was rather fail, seeing as the guys played soccer, the girls chatted while the rest played mahjong upstairs. But still, it would have been enjoyable, the way they described it.

But, NOOOOOOOOO... On the very outing I decide not to go, it turns out this way. Just my luck isn't it?

And then, if that wasn't all, while I was moping on my way home, I stopped by at CWP on a whim to get a McFlurry. And I saw the two of you. One's in Nan Chiau. The other's in KCP. And the 2 of you are still BFFs. The two of you were chatting along merrily. We paused for a moment. You said, "Hi!", and you said simply, "Yo." And I just smiled and said "Hi." weakly. You 2 seem so different from each other. One is silent, and the other's chatty. Ok, both are short. And the 2 of you are inseparable sisters. I'm sure that you treat each other better than family.

Now I can imagine how lonely it must be for people like Christopher, Joel and Ashley. They all went to schools, without any former classmates/schoolmates. I know for Ashley's case, he wanted to escape from his past, but that's a large price to pay, losing whatever friendship forged over the time. I admit, the 2 of us weren't exactly popular, but we had friends. Losing them is a big price. And if they failed in their new schools, there goes their efforts.

Heck, if I were them, I wouldn't have done something so risky. One wrong step here, one wrong step there, and you come crashing down. Painfully, of course.

Now, I'd be lying if I said that what they did was wrong. It was, after all, restarting their "lives" on a new slate. They felt that they screwed up too badly, and wanted to restart. I did contemplate that, thinking of KCP, and schools like that. Nobody goes there, so it would be the perfect place. Okay, so she went there, so if I did, that wouldn't be a total restart. But still, it'd be good enough. I can do whatever I want there, and not care.

Which brings me to my problems. Quite a few people have noted that it's nearly impossible, when there's a preexisting clique that comprises of half the class at least. When you can identify a huge chunk joking around, chatting, staying together, using in-jokes, nicknames, etc, you're screwed. You can't join in, you can't force your way in, you can't really convince them to let you in, you can't make your own clique. And even if they act as though they let you in, they truly haven't. They never will. It's a fact, and you'll always be an outcast, and it all depends on how much.

How do I know? Not because I've been in said situation. Mine is a less horrible variation, where there are competing "factions", but the NYPS girls are the largest. Ashley's worse off. He's outcasted from Day 1, because he's alone, without backup. Combine that with an unforgiving class, and a gigantic, preexisting clique, and he's pretty much screwed up because of luck.

It's a pity too. He's a nice guy, rather easygoing, with a sarcastic wit that he prefers not to use, but if he does, then good luck. Only he can, and will, hold 4 arguments at once, responding to each with wit, and the occasional under-the-belt strike. I have held conversations on up to 20 threads, but when there's one where everything's speeding along, then I'll have to focus on it alone.

He isn't exactly heck-care for everything, actually. When he finds something good, he goes all-out for it. I don't bother with much, mainly because I don't find it that worth my time. He tried to get into the clique, only to be rejected. Bad move for him, and now, he's stuck.

So, to sum it up, here's what I said, condensed down.

Let's face it. It was never possible for us to assimilate, not with the preexisting cliques, and not with our attitude to life. So why did we try, when we knew we couldn't succeed?

Mabel, the Outcast.