Every now and then, we find something on the forums so crazy/stupid/awesome, we drop our jaws and go "WTF is going on?"

As I mentioned previously, these kind of things will be remembered for ages. Like the Salty Droid, the only forum incident that warranted a real-life ambulance.

Other incidents include the Siege of Buffalo, where a Freelancer RPG went off the rails. The players were supposed to free the slaves. Instead, they sold some of the slaves, armed them, and went straight to the Boss with Corsair M7 Centurion Heavy Fighters. The battle took 15 pages, or 450 posts, and required the 12 participants to take on the role of 5 more ships each.

But today's incident... It deserved a CMoA for the OP's dedication. The OP wanted to get banned. Specifically, a yearlong ban, which has only been given out thrice, and all with prior warnings. So far, there hasn't been a lifetime ban. Yet.

She states her intentions VERY clearly in the first post. She's seen quite a few people get banned, and she wonders how tough is it to get a ban. She aims for a year-long ban, but any ban longer than a week would be good enough for her.

And that's when the floodgates open. She starts swearing liberally at the mods, at the community and at the admins. She starts mocking people who encourage her. She starts flaming. She posts tons of links to Youtube videos, http://frankly.pitas.com, Encyclopedia Dramatica and pornographic sites.

She starts begging. She creates multis. And in an hour, she gets banned and the topic, which has grown to 30+ pages is immortalized. And locked. The mods would delete it, but her effort convinced them that they should keep it, just for the lulz. According to the PM she sent us, she realized that being banned just forces you to lurk, and you're unable to post. YOu can, however PM people and stuff. I suspect, for her case, it was an exception. She only got a 3-day ban though.

Personally, I'm hoping she'll come back, create a new thread, link to the older one and write, "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted..." and continue on her quest for a ban longer than a week.

My favorite one was:

"I am Father Gregory...and this is my weapon. She weighs one hundred fifty grams and fires a sperm cell at two calories at ten thousand cells per minute. It costs four thousand calories to fire this weapon...for twelve seconds.

Oh my god, who touched Anabelle....WHO TOUCHED MY GUN?! Oh wait, it was Timmy."

Then the mods laughed, and she had to resort to the aforementioned tactics.



Now, on to my roleplay thread, which has a CMoA or CMoF on every other page.

On one of the previous pages, where a nation, who we shall call Nation X, sent a division of men to take over a town, when he only had 16,000 men. Being the evil GM, I started a civil war.

NationX: I send a division of men to restore order.
GM: You don't have enough soldiers.
NationX: A division of men consists of 2000 men, right?
GM: :facepalm: A division consists of anywhere from 10,000 to 20,000 men. You don't have enough. For your stupidity, you have 3 days, or 30 minutes IRL to do something.

But, my goodness, the award goes to another nation, which shall also be called Nation X (which has become the John Doe of the international community). The UN, which I roleplay as, once wrote a memo to them. It consisted of me asking:

Does the Geneva Convention mean anything to you and your amoral mind?

He replied "No." Then he went ahead with his original idea of sending 20,000 child suicide bombers.

I convinced 3 other nations to put a naval, aerial and land blockade on him. He broke out soon enough, after he wired a memo to me, asking Deadpool for help.

Yes, Deadpool. That crazy mercenary who doesn't just break the fourth wall. He smashes through it like a stampede of rhinoceroses.

My reply said, "Sorry, but even evil has standards. Perhaps you could ask someone else like the Joker for help?"

Still, the best nation would be Nation X, whose main agricultural output is tea. Anytime anyone has a problem which his oversized army could help, he sends in a memo to them, and adds, "While waiting for a response, why not have a nice cup of Earl Grey?", and attaches a crate of lemon tea to it.

And, OMG, his obsession with his currency, the Turd. He advocates throwing shit at his enemy, until they give up and drown in it. The way he says it, he could either be referring to giving his enemy so much money, their allies become suspicious, or just giving them stupid stuff.

Best example of inanity would go to how Nation X explained in a rare moment of OOCness about cumming, by using a vending machine as an analogy. It was pretty good, seeing as it wasn't done IRL. Otherwise, there'll be a ton of nervous giggles.

ANYWAY, I finally got the determination to spend some money to get myself earphones/earbuds/headphones for my computer. You see, my parents don't understand Japanese, and I'd rather listen to my songs. I got myself earbuds, and I like them. Mainly because they are pretty good, and I'm hearing stuff I never heard when I'm using the speakers. Plus, they're more energy efficient than the speakers.

Also, what's with Singapore's government's hatred for Singlish? Last time I checked, there are people who can easily switch from proper English to Singlish. I don't care. In my fantasies for the next Speak Good English Movement advertisements, we'll have a snobbish man in a starched tuxedo, properly-aligned black tie, and black shoes that reflects light better than most mirrors. Beside him, we have a 40-year-old man, wearing jeans that are 2 inches too long, and a large T-shirt that's partially tucked-in. He'll have tattoos covering every conceivable square inch of skin below the neck, and an oversized gold necklace.

Snob: Greetings, fellow Singaporeans. I am Brian McCarthy.
40yo Wannabe Thug (40WT): KNN! 我名字 is Lim Ah Beng. [points middle finger].
Subtitle: Hi BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP! I am Lim Ah Beng. I dislike you a lot, and would do unspeakable acts, going against at least 20 different laws against your mother.
Snob: I would like to teach you, dear Singaporeans, how to speak proper English. For our first lesson, let us consider the use of "a" and "an".
40WT: [insert long list of Hokkien vulgarities].
Snob ignores and speaks slightly louder.
Snob: Pardon my brutish lout who dares considers himself a friend of such a shining example of a proper man. Now, I shall continue from where I left off. The word, "an", is to be used only before a word beginning with a vowel sound. For instance, we can say, "an apple", or "an hour". We cannot say "an retard, like my friend over there."
40WT hears that and screams another set of obscenities.

Seriously, Singapore. How difficult is it to teach us how to use proper English. That's good enough, and it's up to us to figure out when to do the switch. I agree, it's not worth creating a whole new dialect for the 5 million of us. Still, stamping out Singlish is just stupid. You've let it grown for 40+ years, you ain't gonna stamp it out without a fight. That, or you could break the Geneva Convention...

The best thing I've seen for the keeping of Singlish is the cultural identity part. Go overseas, and speak Singlish casually with your friends. Singaporean, lest you fulfill the government's worst fear, and forever brand Singapore as a country who has reduced the Queen's English to a shell of its former glory. God Save The Queen! Or The PAP! Whichever's More Applicable! This Is Sparta! No, I'm Spartacus! The Cake! It's A Lie! Why Are We Speaking Like This?! I Don't Know! Somebody Stop Us!

If you meet anybody who turns their head and smiles, that's a Singaporean! Woohoo! It IS a small world!

Back to my earbuds. I don't know why I love them so much. There's the woofer, which rocks when you're playing songs like Oh My God by Kat Deluna. It's powerful, which meant I deafened myself when I plugged it in and played Hare Hare Yukai to test it. It was maximum volume from last night, and well... I pulled them out and muted it before raising it to a comfortable level.

Mabel, Sarcastic. As Usual.

Oh. My. God.

As you might have found out, I was reading inappropriate fanfiction, because you know, I'm bored.

Yes, THAT kind inappropriate fanfiction.

Now, has anybody here watched K-ON Season 1, at least? Appreciated and identified with Yui Hirasawa? Smiled at her Cloudcuckoolander tendencies? Felt a sense of familiarity with her love for her guitar, aptly named Gitah?

Good. Now go to fanfiction.net, Anime section, K-ON! fanfiction, and search for M.

There's this little bastard who wrote a very dark fanfic involving Yui and how she got broken, called Shattered In The Rain.

Thank you so much for creating an appetite suppressor. You've also managed to suppress some guys' bodily functions too. Yeah. Thanks a lot, you motherfucker.

On the other hand, in my quest for good fanfiction, I stumbled upon this beautiful piece. Like the aforementioned, it's a complete mindscrew, but at least it isn't in the literal sense too. Yay. If I was Haruhi, Nagaru would most probably end Suzumiya Haruhi with a Kyon/Yuki ending. But it's The Melancholy of SUZUMIYA HARUHI. Dammit.